After a ten minute tube journey and a further ten minute walk, I see the gym. I also see one of the gym’s personal trainers — instantly recognisable by the branded kit and awe-inspiring frame. I take a step forward. He turns. We make eye contact. I stop dead in my tracks. Squeal. Panic. Pivot. And walk away.
Two cigarettes and a good self-chastisement later, I retrace my steps and enter the gym.
The first thing I noticed about the gym was how functional and monochrome it looked. The walls are white and the furniture is white. All the equipment is black and all the personal trainers — there are a lot of personal trainers — are dressed in black. It even seems that all the trainers’ hair is black, or absent, in some cases. No fuss, no comfort and no superfluous niceties — this place clearly means business.
After completing a brief questionnaire, the guy running the consultation gave me a tour of the facilities and led me to the consulting room. Although he is not one of the personal trainers, he is still a pretty imposing guy at well over six foot tall. Fortunately, he was also a nice guy — I imagine he is used to prospective clients being nervous. In addition to running through some basic questions (what are your goals? have you trained before? how much time can you commit? what days and times do you prefer to train?), we also managed a little small talk, which certainly made me feel a little calmer. That’s not to say I was by any measure calm at this point. I still felt vaguely sick and incredibly uncomfortable. The fact that my contact lens spontaneously decided to folder over and lodge itself into the corner of my eye did not help matters. It is incredibly difficult to maintain an air of nonchalance with a left eye that refuses to stop blinking at 60 beats per minute. I never knew I was this socially awkward!
Finally the ordeal was over. I signed up for the three month intensive course and paid my first instalment. All I need to do know is wait to be matched with a trainer (presumably one that is available at the times I specified) and stress over who it will be.